Ballet during quarantine and work life balance

The past few weeks have been the busiest I’ve ever been …. I worked for 80~90 hours in a week for the first time in my short working life. And I was exhausted.

Ironically, I’ve always secretly longed for such life. The age of 20s are for working hard and building a strong foundation for your future career, yet here I am in my corporate office, running out of things to do and being washed out of my building exactly after 5pm. When my friends in consulting/finance complain about their late nights, I am sometimes secretly jealous of them having the opportunity to further improve their skill sets and get ahead in their career. I didn’t even have a chance to do all these, even though (I thought) I’d love to.

And here the “opportunity” comes… when I joined a new team that uses data analytics to optimize internal workflow, on top of all the client work I’ve already been doing. Things got crazy after that with project deadlines one after another.

I was working day and night, getting extremely stressed about not being able to finish work before the deadlines hit by the end of the week. I got even more despaired when the evening comes and I still need to do more work, but my brain stopped functioning. I am chained to my desk all day, and I never have time to take a break, albeit cooking - I’d just throw random things in my instapot and eat whatever comes out of it. Sometimes, I’m even annoyed by the fact that I have to take a shower. I lost appreciation of all the small things in life.

And this is just for one or two weeks. I cannot imagine how others can do it for years.

I think I now appreciate more about the work life balance my company has been promoting. The downtime after work is crucial for getting me prepared for working efficiently again in the next day, and I think I’m a little bit too anxious about my career growth.

Life is long, I should be more patient.

About ballet during quarantine

Ballet has taken a back seat during my time sheltered in place - I now only take one class per week instead of four. Maybe I got worse, or I didn’t make as much progress as I should be, but I am not feeling too guilty. I’ve got other stuff to sort out during this time. Sometimes you need to take a break from your previous busy routine and re-evaluate your priorities, before hitting the road again.

About quarantined in New York

Having not stepped out of my apartment building for two months, I do dearly miss the city I live in.

I miss Friday nights when the city gets buoyant after a week of work, with people gathering cheerfully in the warm lights of bars and restaurants along the sidewalk.

I miss the performers in the Time Square subway station, New Yorkers’ sense of fashion, and the dogs on the street.

I miss the Met, MoMa, the Whitney Museum, Lincoln Center, The Union Square Greenmarket, the Whole Foods in Bryant Park, my neighborhood butcher, Central Park, sunset on my roof, my commute to my ballet class, my ballet studio. The crowds spewing out of the Joyce Theater after a performance - artsy people gathering around discussing the show, the dancer I admired on stage smoking a cigarette on the street, the elegant middle aged couple heading to a bar. And the 15 min walk to the subway along the brownstones on Museum Miles, with the sun setting, brightening up the clouds on Madison Avenue, after an afternoon at the Met.

I miss my friends - the Saturday night board games, the dinner parties, the girls night outs, the brunch dates. Their jokes, their sense of fashion, the good and the bad we shared together.

New York is the city that nurtured me, and I feel lucky I have the privilege to live here in the first few years of my adult life. And my heart warms up everyday at 7pm, when I would hear people open up their windows, scream, clap their hands, whistle, or bang their pots and pans to cheer for the healthcare workers. Even the people who are just standing at their balcony with a phone trying to record all this - that brings a smile to my face.

Glenn Close says it the best below.

And here is the view outside of my window one night just after sunset. Breathtaking.