A Small Thought

Today was my second in-person ballet class after Covid. Obviously, I was thrilled.

However, I didn’t arrive early enough to earn a spot at the center barre, so I had to stand at the side barre. This means I would not be facing the front of the classroom, with no mirror to look at and no teacher to follow. I had to memorize the dance by myself and do the moves according to what was in my head.

Surprisingly, it turned out to be very refreshing. I imagined I was a tree that was growing upward - an imagery I learned to help me lengthen my spine, and the adagio movement in class was very emotionally touching as I tried to use all my muscles to lift my leg up to the air. I experienced a lot of beauty through the moves.

However, at some point I turned to the mirror, and I saw that my dances were not aesthetically pleasing at all! My muscles were not strong enough to stretch my body to the degree that looks elegant, and I was horribly out of shape.

So, if I was dancing today facing the mirror, focusing on the way I looked when I dance, I would feel bad about myself. It was a blessing in disguise that I had to dance on my own and focus on what I felt internally, instead of how I looked externally.

Isn’t it like the entire year that just passed by? With the whole world spending their life indoors at home, we had the rare luxury of not having to worry about social pressure and living a life that looks good from the outside. We do more self reflection and think deeply about what actually make ourselves happy, instead of chasing the cookie-cutter perfect life that everyone else seems to be chasing.

Even though there were many challenges last year, I was very happy I had the opportunity to reflect deeply from within.