What Unexpected Relationships Have You Formed During The Pandemic?

This article is inspired by an essay with the same title on Cup of Jo by Abigail Rasminsky. Living in an apartment building in LA, the author - a writer and editor with a seven-year-old, formed a deep bond with her neighbor, a 70-year-old man who lives alone. It started with small gestures - exchanging bagels, bananas, cookies - then blossomed into a deeper relationship that mimics family. Things like that gave her extra warmth from a community she never thought of before - outside her circle of close friends and family.

That reminded me of my own experience here at New York City, with a community of security guards.

I started going back to the office pretty early, starting last October, and I was definitely one of the <15 people who came to work every day in a building that used to occupy a few thousand employees. The usually crowded lobby was now empty, and the security guards eventually knew me - the Asian girl with brown-rimmed glasses and a blue mask that walked in every day.

At first, we just nodded and smiled (under a mask) at each other. Then, one day when I left the building, a female security guard said to me, “Have a great weekend!” Surprised, I replied, “Thank you, you too!”

Soon, they started looking at the lunch I brought back with enormous curiosity.

“Sushi!” A man in the uniform said, “That looks so good!”

Or, looking at the oranges I brought back from Whole Foods, placed on top of a bowl of Sweetgreen as if the fruits are in a basket, “Did you just came back from an orchard?“

One day, a security guard decided to play soccer in the lobby with a ball of paper on a Friday night. “Soccer!” He shouted at me, as I walked past the security gate outside the elevator. I kicked the ball right back to him, and we shared a few laughs.

I am normally a very introvert person who do not really talk to strangers, and I still don’t know any of the security guards’ names. However, these interactions really provided a sense of warmth and community in my life that I didn’t expect I’d experience during a pandemic.

Becoming an adult, sometimes it can feel as if you are very much on your own. In the adult world, everything is a lot of work - you need to constantly work on your career, your social life, your health - or, it seems like, you will lose it all - without a good network of allies at your company, without close friends, without people that will lend a helping hand if you are sick.

Being organically involved in a community just because I am geographically close - because I bike from Midtown East to Midtown West to go to the office every day - really provided a safety net for my daily life.

It reminds me, when I am overwhelmed occasionally, that I’m being taken care of by the world.

Readers, what unexpected relationships have you formed during the pandemic?

On the day of election, New Yorkers waving to a young man who celebrated by riding a bike on the street and sounding a horn in his hand. Photographed by me, also celebrating, riding a citi bike.

A Small Thought

Today was my second in-person ballet class after Covid. Obviously, I was thrilled.

However, I didn’t arrive early enough to earn a spot at the center barre, so I had to stand at the side barre. This means I would not be facing the front of the classroom, with no mirror to look at and no teacher to follow. I had to memorize the dance by myself and do the moves according to what was in my head.

Surprisingly, it turned out to be very refreshing. I imagined I was a tree that was growing upward - an imagery I learned to help me lengthen my spine, and the adagio movement in class was very emotionally touching as I tried to use all my muscles to lift my leg up to the air. I experienced a lot of beauty through the moves.

However, at some point I turned to the mirror, and I saw that my dances were not aesthetically pleasing at all! My muscles were not strong enough to stretch my body to the degree that looks elegant, and I was horribly out of shape.

So, if I was dancing today facing the mirror, focusing on the way I looked when I dance, I would feel bad about myself. It was a blessing in disguise that I had to dance on my own and focus on what I felt internally, instead of how I looked externally.

Isn’t it like the entire year that just passed by? With the whole world spending their life indoors at home, we had the rare luxury of not having to worry about social pressure and living a life that looks good from the outside. We do more self reflection and think deeply about what actually make ourselves happy, instead of chasing the cookie-cutter perfect life that everyone else seems to be chasing.

Even though there were many challenges last year, I was very happy I had the opportunity to reflect deeply from within.